Dating around a fetish
Fetish dating, say it early.
Why naming your fetish upfront is the fastest route to the right people, how to do it on a profile, and where fetishists actually meet in Pennsylvania. 18+.
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The golden rule
Say it early
Dating around a fetish has one golden rule, and it is the opposite of what most people instinctively do: say it early. The fear is that naming a fetish upfront will scare people off. In practice, the people it scares off were never going to share it, and the ones who stay are exactly the ones you were hoping to meet. On a site like this, the fetish is not the awkward part - it is the whole point.
How to do it
Dating around a fetish
- Name it on the profile, not in a message.A fetish stated on the profile reads as confidence. The same thing dropped into a private message three days in reads as a confession. The profile is the kinder place.
- Be specific about what you want from it.To share it with a partner? To be indulged? To find someone who has it too? "Into feet" is a start; "looking for someone who shares a foot thing" is a match.
- Let it do the filtering.The right profile repels the people who do not share your fetish and attracts the ones who do. That is not a bug. That is the entire job.
- Keep the first meet ordinary.However much you have in common online, the first meeting is still coffee in public, sober, with a friend knowing where you are. The fetish waits for trust.
Where to meet people
Where they actually are
- On your profile first. The people here are already looking for specific things - yours belongs right there with theirs.
- In the interests you pick. The join flow lets you tag what you are into; tagging honestly is how the right people find you.
- At fetish events, once you have met people. Pennsylvania has leather and fetish nights in the cities; they are easier to walk into when you already know a face or two.
Keep reading
Go deeper
Common questions
Fetish dating, answered.
Won't naming my fetish upfront scare people away?
It will scare away the people who do not share it - which is the point. Everyone it scares off was a dead end anyway. The people who stay are the ones you actually wanted to meet, and you found them in one line.
What if my fetish is really niche?
The more niche it is, the more important it is to say it - because the few people who share it are searching for the exact word you are hiding. Spell it out and you become findable to precisely the right people.
Can I date someone who tolerates my fetish but does not share it?
People do, and it can work if they are genuinely fine with it. But a partner who shares it is a different thing entirely, and sites like this exist so you do not have to settle for merely tolerated.
Is it rude to ask about someone's fetish straight away?
If they have put it on their profile, it is fair game - respectfully. If they have not, let them raise it. Reading what someone has chosen to share, and not pushing past it, is the whole etiquette.
When you are ready
Find someone who shares it.
Free to join. Name what you are into - that one line does the hardest part for you.
✦ Free to Join · Free ID Verification · 18+ Only ✦